October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month! According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (DV), 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men will be victims of severe physical violence by an intimate partner at some point in their lifetime, not to mention the invisible emotional abuse that often takes place in these relationships. While I’m sure you were aware that DV exists, are you aware of all the ways you can get involved?! Throw on some comfy flannel and get ready to mark your calendars. (No costume required for these.)
1. Know the Signs of Domestic Violence
Warning Signs Your Partner May Be Abusive
Listen to your deepest inner voice: If your partner is controlling or jealous, tells you what to wear or what to do, gaslights your (diminishes your feelings or tells you you’re crazy), pits you against your friends or family members; they may be, or may become, abusive. While every relationship has occasional conflicts, you should never feel like you’re “walking on eggshells”, silencing yourself, or enduring pain for a partner. That’s not love or devotion; it’s abuse. Emotional, psychological, and financial torment are all legitimate forms of abuse that deserve help and care, so if you’re concerned about your partner but you don’t feel sure yet, then ask someone who knows you both what they think. A good friend will tell you honestly if they believe you’re in a dangerous situation. In the meantime, you can learn more warning signs in this article we wrote for Ms. Magazine.
Signs of Domestic Abuse in Others
Domestic abuse may be physical, emotional, or behavioral in nature, and they’re not always obvious!
Some physical symptoms of domestic violence include:
● Bruises or injuries that appear after weekends or holidays
● Injuries that have been denied or explained away with unconvincing stories
● Frequent absences from work or school
● Unexplained changes in clothing (wearing long sleeves in summertime)
Behavioral signs of domestic violence could be:
● Changes in personality or mood (becoming withdrawn or more aggressive)
● Sudden loss of interest in usual activities
● Changes in weight or appearance
Last but not least, emotional warning signs of domestic violence may include:
● Low self-esteem
● Depression
● Anxiousness
● Fearfulness
If you see any of these warning signs in yourself or someone you know, it may be indicative of an abusive relationship.
2. Know Your Local Domestic Violence Resources
If you’re anywhere in the United States, the National Domestic Violence Hotline provides 24/7 support for victims of domestic violence through crisis counseling and information about shelters, legal assistance, and other resources nationwide. You can reach them at 1−800−799−7233 OR 1−800−787−3224 (TTY); alternatively, you can also text LOVEIS to 22522. In every state, there are local shelters and organizations who can help, too. Here’s an exhaustive list of domestic violence resources in every city across America; keep it handy, because you never know when a friend might need it! And if you really want to crush National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, reach out to one of your local orgs and ask if you can volunteer! I guarantee they’d be thrilled to have an extra set of hands to help serve their important cause.
3. Connect with the Domestic Violence Community
On the first Wednesday of every month, we host FREE support groups for survivors of domestic violence and the people who love them on Zoom. We’ve Got This! is a safe space for people to come together and heal, with different guests every month: because healing doesn’t happen alone. Attendees from the first couple groups have already said it’s helping them feel less alone! Register free here.
Additionally, you can connect with fellow domestic violence survivors through our growing, active communities on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. You’ll find some incredible people there!
4. Let Stories of Overcoming Trauma Inspire You
Need a motivational boost? Then stop what you’re doing and read up on a domestic violence survivor’s story of overcoming trauma; if you’re not DEEPLY MOVED, then you should check your pulse! Domestic abuse survivors are some of the strongest, most tenacious people we know, and they inspire us every day. Don’t know where to start? First, try our founder’s memoir But I Love Him by Michelle Jewsbury, which recounts the story of her own abuse and triumph. You’ll leave feeling ready to conquer anything that stands in your way.
5. Donate to a DV Nonprofit Organization
Can you think of any? Hmmm….
Before you decide, keep in mind that Unsilenced Voices is one of the few domestic violence nonprofits to provide financial assistance DIRECTLY to survivors for housing, legal fees, medical care, child care, and educational needs in 4 countries! Also, we’re one of the first DV nonprofits to accept cryptocurrency donations and use blockchain technology to help survivors earn their own income. We provide market trainings and small business loans to women seeking financial independence because we believe that teaching people how to fish is more valuable than giving fish. Every dollar makes an impact, and Domestic Violence Awareness Month is the perfect time to support a deeply important cause. Donate here, and sincerely, thank you.
